Tag: introversion

In Ancient Greece, the philosopher Diogenes lived an austere life, owning few possessions and sleeping inside a pithos, a large ceramic jar. We might see his lifestyle as an extreme form of minimalism, but Diogenes found a rare luxury that even the wealthiest individuals today will never attain. When Alexander the Great visited the philosopher and asked if there was anything he could do for him, Diogenes’ reply was: “Stand out of my sunlight!” By this, he implied he needed nothing from one of history’s most powerful men. Alexander later famously remarked: “If I were not Alexander, I would be Diogenes.”

How did a man like Alexander the Great, a king who had conquered the known world and could acquire anything he desired, come to envy a man who seemingly had nothing? The answer is simple: By choosing a life of solitude over material wealth and the admiration of the masses, Diogenes conquered himself. He found peace and had total control over his own time.

As I become older, I resonate more with the philosophy of Diogenes. Nowadays, I find more fulfillment in solitary activities: reading, walking, engaging in the arts, or working on side projects. There is an ultimate tranquility in owning your schedule—deciding exactly how your energy is spent. Once you become accustomed to a solitary lifestyle, you instinctively safeguard your peace against chaos, social noise, and meaningless drama. You become highly selective about who you let into your life.

Before I share why solitude is a rare luxury in a world craving your attention, I must first distinguish solitude from loneliness.

Aloneness is not synonymous with loneliness

It’s a common misconception that aloneness is synonymous with loneliness. Moreover, the terms aloneness, loneliness, and solitude are often used interchangeably, despite their distinct definitions.

Aloneness is the physical state of being by yourself, whether short or long-term, whether by choice or not.

Loneliness is the undesired and uncomfortable feeling of being alone. While the physical state of being alone can trigger loneliness, it can more often be caused by a lack of genuine social connection. For example, one can be in a romantic relationship or in a group of people, yet still feel lonely or isolated.

Solitude, however, is the preference for spending time alone, either short-term or long-term. Those who prefer solitude do so to intentionally engage in meaningful and joyful activities of their choosing. It doesn’t mean that they are anti-social or that they avoid people. One can find solitude while reading a book in a café, focusing on a solo workout at the gym, or walking around a crowded park on a Sunday afternoon.

Society pushes the notion through films, series, and music, that you must be part of a social group to feel fulfilled. Furthermore, teachers and family members often tell those who are quiet to “go out and make new friends.” People frequently assume that those who choose their own company lack social skills, are weird, or are dealing with internal issues. In reality, being comfortably alone shows strength and is quite empowering once mastered. It is for these reasons that I have chosen this path.

Choosing to walk the solitary path

Now that I’m older, I find myself increasingly avoiding people in my spare time, often opting out of social events. Exceptions are family and a select group of close friends. To be frank, I find being around unfamiliar people or attending social events to be energy-draining. I simply no longer have the patience for the worries, personal issues, or drama that others may bring.

It hasn’t always been like this. I was a more outgoing person in my younger years, saying yes to every social event. Like most young people, I was caught in the compulsion to fit in, be accepted, and liked by everyone else. However, the majority of people that age don’t yet know themselves, so they look for the answer in the reflection of others.

The day I began to prioritize my goals and interests was the day I declined social invitations centered around drinking and partying. Instead, I chose to invest my valuable time in getting into better physical shape, reading books, and pursuing new skills. Eventually, I was no longer considered part of the “common crowd”. The invitations stopped, and the “friends” I once knew became nothing more than tiny fragments etched in my memory.

Some might say it’s a pity, or that I’m missing out. But honestly, I don’t think I’ve missed out on anything. When you stop participating in the common rituals of the crowd, the crowd naturally recedes. But in that receding tide, I found both peace and productive silence—the keys to unlock my true potential. Moreover, it revealed who my genuine friends were: people I could truly connect with and count on. Choosing the clarity of solitude over the static of social noise has been my greatest blessing.

The Luxuries of Solitude

As hinted earlier, a solitary life is a peaceful life. There’s a scene from the 1970 Western movie “Two Mules for Sister Sara” that accurately captures the essence of solitude. In the movie, a nun, played by Shirley MacLaine, asks Hogan, played by Clint Eastwood, why he doesn’t want a woman of his own. Hogan replies that he would rather drink, gamble, spend his money, and not listen to a woman’s complaints and aches all day. To the nun, Hogan’s solitude is a deficit that needs correction, assuming it is a lonely life. Unfazed, Hogan replies, “It’s a great life.” I like that scene so much that I use Hogan’s same reply every time someone questions my choice. It’s a great life because there’s no drama, no stress, no fake performances, and no forcing yourself to do things others want you to do.

If life were a video game, selecting solitude and peace is like playing on “Easy Difficulty”. You’ve opted out of the unfair boss fights of social drama; your health bar stays full because you aren’t wasting ‘mana’ on meaningless interactions. Even the enemy NPCs seem scared of you, because they cannot threaten a main character who is already content in his own company. When you don’t need their experience points or loot content, their attacks simply don’t do any damage.

However, peace is not the only thing you will experience if you decide to walk the solitary path. You will also experience self-reflection. You discover other aspects of yourself, ideas, interests, and life goals. I have discovered more about myself when I’m alone. I have unlocked hidden talents in creative thinking and developed a strong sense of self-discipline to achieve my personal goals, whether it be writing or getting my body in better shape. When the external clutter has dissipated, ideas begin to surface naturally. Without the constant interruption of other people’s noise, my thoughts finally have the quiet space to expand and focus. In these moments, I am in a state of high-intensity. There’s a quote by the author of the Dune novels, Frank Herbert, that describes this state: “The person who experiences the moments of biological high-intensity is the person who is most alone.” This is the core of my philosophy: the most profound breakthroughs aren’t found in the crowd; they are earned by the individual who has the discipline to walk the solitary path.

Loneliness is on the rise, particularly in advanced, wealthy nations. Technology has made it easier than ever to connect, yet more people feel isolated than ever before. This is because they are fleeing the silence instead of embracing it. Learning to thrive in solitude is the cure for loneliness because it forces you to become your own best companion. Once you are no longer afraid of the silence, you realize the truth: the loneliest place in the world isn’t being alone in your room; it’s being in a room full of people with whom you have nothing in common. Solitude isn’t the absence of people; it is the presence of one’s self. Being alone is not a sentence to be endured, but a luxury to be guarded.

Closing Thoughts

To be comfortably by yourself is a high-level ability that takes time to level up. It requires a certain clarity and self-awareness that only a few have. But once you attain it, the rewards are profound. You unlock a strong resilience against loneliness, the power to mute social noise, and the tranquil environment needed to focus on improving yourself.

Despite what society or popular culture would have you believe, there’s nothing wrong with choosing the peace of solitude over the social noise of the crowd. True strength lies in the ability to be alone without feeling distressed, spending quality time with yourself or those who matter to you.

If Diogenes were alive today, would he decline a favor from Elon Musk or Bill Gates? I am certain he would say exactly what he said to Alexander the Great. Once you find that rare luxury, peace in solitude and the mastery of your own time and will, you simply don’t need much from the world.